The sound of writing

The secret of good writing is to listen. Philip Eales and Alan Whicker taught me this. Good writing has to sound good. Write something and read it back to yourself in a Whicker voice. If it sounds right then it generally reads well.

Of course, if you have no idea who Alan Whicker is, this approach may be problematic.

Philip Eales gave me the idea. When we were at school together he went around for some weeks imitating Whicker saying:
The gay cops of San Francisco. A world within a world. A community within a community. Where good is bad and bad is about as good as you're going to get.

I've no idea if Whicker ever actually said this (he did do a programme on the gay cops of San Francisco) but it has his cadence and the joy of repetition and balanced sentences. The point is that Whicker's writing had to sound good because his audience listened rather than read.



Here is how the approach can be used to improve (I hope) some copy:

Version 1
A quiet revolution is taking place in wireless that promises new operational and cost efficiencies for cellular base stations and handsets. Dubbed software defined radio (SDR), the development involves implementing radio functions in software. A simple enough technology trend, you may think, but with it comes significant ramifications for the wireless industry. And its biggest benefit is still to come: software defined radio is an important enabler of dynamic radio spectrum allocation that will benefit service providers and end users alike.

I like quiet revolution but it is kind of lost because the first sentence takes you down the garden path.

What about a full stop after wireless to give it more punch (you could even delete "in wireless" because it will probably be obvious from the context).

Could new operational and cost efficiencies be cheaper and easier?

Version 2:

A quiet revolution is taking place. The development, dubbed software defined radio (SDR), promises to prolong the life of cellular base stations while simplifying the design of smart phones. Implementing radio functions in software is a simple enough technology development, you may think. But with it comes significant industry ramifications. Indeed the biggest benefit is still to occur: SDR will help open up new spectrum once mobile operators' own exclusive bands become choked with data.

Now listen to the sound it makes. Try, for example, saying implementing radio functions in software is a simple enough technology development out loud.

Version 3:
A quiet revolution is taking place. Software defined radio (SDR) promises to prolong the life of cellular base stations while simplifying the design of smart phones. But the biggest benefit is yet to come. Mobile operators' own bands are fast becoming choked with data and SDR will help them open up new spectrum.

Short-long-short-long (like dancing) works quite well for flow. We could really do with another short at the end to tease people into starting the next par. Something like:
The challenge is getting everyone to agree.

The second sentence gives us an the opportunity for a balanced sentence of the type Whicker might use:
(SDR) promises to prolong the life of base stations and shorten the design-cycle of smart phones.

Version 4:
A quiet revolution is taking place. Software defined radio (SDR) promises to prolong the life of base stations and shorten the design-cycle of smart phones. But the biggest benefit is yet to come. Mobile operators' own bands are fast becoming choked with data and SDR will help them open up new spectrum. The challenge is getting everyone to agree.

Not quite the gay cops of San Francisco but getting there, I think. Many thanks to the anonymous donor of the original copy.